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Anime I Hate

Hate’s a strong word. It might not even apply to many of the series on this list. But “Anime I Hate” catches your attention more than “Anime That Just Don’t Do It For Me.” That phrase might be more appropriate, but this ain’t about appropriateness.

This is about piquing your curiosity. “What anime does this dude hate? Does he hate something I love? I’m already filling with nerd rage! I can’t wait to read this list!” You need that initial shock and furor to make this sort of thing work, and then you calm the hivemind’s anger when you can actually articulate why you don’t dig things. Either that or you just come off as a dude poking that hive with a big stick. Either conclusion is fine by me.

So yeah, there exists anime which I do not like. This is a list of said anime. Some of these series may not be ranked as low on that there My Anime List thing as other series, but there’s still something about them that rubs me the wrong way. Now let’s get to pissing you off already.

All this stuff’s in no particular order. We aren’t counting down or anything like that.

Angel Tales

Of all the series on this list, this is the one that has absolutely nothing of worth. While the others rub me in the wrong way and represent trends and traits I despise, at least I can say something positive about them. That isn’t the case with Angel Tales. I despise this series with every fiber of my being. It is the sort of thing I’d imagine myself being forced to watch for eternity if that Hell thing exists.

This thing’s a harem series. That alone isn’t what damns it. I tend not to like those sorts of series, but that isn’t a trait worthy of instant hate. What makes me loathe this thing is how the harem is formed. The main dude supposedly loves animals. He’s had many pets over the course of his life, but each of these pets has come to some grisly fate. Sometimes it isn’t his fault, but every death seems like it was something he could have prevented had he not been an inept, unobservant, wet blanket of an anime lead. Most of these pets die because of fucking neglect.

But when these pets die, they still love the guy, and their love allows them to be reborn as troperific anime girls who want to serve their master.

Yeah, this dude amasses a harem made of animals he abused and allowed to die. It’s as if Michael Vick went on The Bachelor and all of the women were reincarnated dogs. It’s fucking disgusting on a conceptual level.

Had this been a simple harem wannabe, it’d be long forgotten, but its premise is the lone anime that makes me genuinely angry.

Bleach

Bleach starts off pretty decently. It may be a generic shounen show, but it’s a little stylish and has likable characters who play off of each other well. It was far from being a favorite of mine, but I was enjoying it well enough.

Then the Soul Society arc started.

Ichigo’s foil, Rukia, gets captured and locked in a prison cell for dozens of episodes, so their interplay is thrown out the window. All of those other cool characters who have been hanging with Ichigo get ignored as well in favor of a bunch of new characters who all dress the same, have no personalities, and whose only defining characteristics are the swords they own.

Then the thing becomes every other shounen series, but it isn’t even a tolerable one. Ichigo fights some dudes, finds out he isn’t strong enough to beat the only guy he has to actually beat, and then trains. A lot. It’s shounen in its purest, most puerile form, and it’s all the worse because it purposely throws out a bunch of interesting stuff in favor of this trash.

Dragon Ball Z

Had Dragon Ball played out at some reasonably fast pace, it might be alright. It’d still be a lot of goofy-looking dudes screaming and shooting lasers for silly reasons, but at least it might be fun. As is, it makes most American soap operas look tightly paced in comparison. At least with soaps you can explain away the dragging plot with the need to repeat plot points for an audience that doesn’t necessarily catch every episode. DBZ doesn’t have that excuse. Sure, they claim they’re padding things to where they won’t catch up with the manga or whatever, but couldn’t they come up with some original scripts to pad the time? A fight that lasts mere minutes shouldn’t last several episodes.

DBZ’s biggest sin is that it has become the template for this sort of series. As much as I love the art in One Piece, I can’t stomach the pacing. DBZ pretty much ruined any chances of me giving these sorts of series a fair chance.

But the original Dragon Ball ain’t too bad. At least it’s more about goofy comedy than anything, and it doesn’t waste our time with horrible fights.

The Type Moon Universe

Blahblahblah vague dialogue.

Blahblahblah I took one philosophy class and now I think I know the secrets of the universe.

Blahblahblah let’s describe things instead of using animation to show shit.

Blahblahblah when we do actual fight scenes let’s have them suck.

That’s pretty much my impression of the Type Moon universe. I’ve seen a few of the Kara no Kyoukai movies. I tried watching Fate/Zero. I’ve looked into other stuff from the world. On paper it sounds cool, what with these secret battles for the fate of the universe and shit like that. But in practice it comes off as bad fanfiction written by a high school dude just discovering “deep” anime.

Trust me, I wrote shit like this when I was that age. It sounds cool at that age, but it really fucking sucks. I’d rather not see my high school spiral note books animated, thank you very much.

Read or Die the TV

The Read or Die OVA is brilliant. It’s a mix of 60s spy cool and super hero antics.

The Read or Die TV series is a bunch of girls sitting around talking about friendship and being sad and shit. Oh, and then they might make a giant paper airplane. Then, once the series is almost over, it realizes it’s based on an awesome OVA and shoehorns in some cool bits long after any good will has been lost. Too little too late, dudes.

Yeah, this is how you kill a franchise’s awesomeness. Instead of running with what made the original good, you cave in to trends and try to fit your franchise to the new mold. In the end you get a piece of shit that’s worse than the mediocrity you’re trying to parrot. If you wanna make a “girls doing cute girly shit” series, go for it. Hell, you might even make something decent in the process. That isn’t gonna damn you from the get-go. Just don’t take something that has nothing to do with that sort of series and force it to be such a series.

Fuck you, Read or Die the TV. Fuck. You.

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30 Comments leave one →
  1. A Day Without Me permalink
    October 18, 2012 11:05 AM

    You can delete this comment after you make your fixes, but its ‘grisly’, not ‘grizzly’, and its ‘clued me in’, not ‘queued me in’.

    • Landon permalink*
      October 18, 2012 12:12 PM

      Huh? What? Me make mistakes? I see none.

      No, yeah, those were some pretty silly errors there. Thanks for pointing them out.

  2. Dantheman permalink
    October 18, 2012 11:15 AM

    A Miyazaki and fullmetal alchemist hater well your going against the crop huh I would be curious to hear your opinion on the most underrated anime of time?

    • Landon permalink*
      October 18, 2012 12:13 PM

      People’d probably say my Top 50 comes close to that, judging by the reactions it usually gets.

  3. October 18, 2012 12:57 PM

    Yeah, I think with stuff like Dragon Ball Z, you have to be young and inexperienced to really enjoy it … most of my fond memories are watching it after school while I did my homework. Maybe that’s the audience it targets, and the battles are so long because people are half watching it? Haha.

    Basically agree totally with you re: Railgun.

    • March 22, 2013 11:37 PM

      I cannot believe a fellow dbz fan as a kid would so easily betray dbz by agreeing with a person who says that dbz’s episodes are too “Extended”. To be honest you should be ashamed with yourself.

  4. October 18, 2012 2:31 PM

    No Eureka Seven? Colour me shocked!

    • Landon permalink*
      October 18, 2012 3:30 PM

      It’s there along side RahXephon. I went for representative stuff and those both fall under the same header. I just went with the series that irked me first.

  5. Ghastper permalink
    October 18, 2012 3:30 PM

    WTF where’s Naruto?!?! Naruto is the most overrated show ever! How can you not put it here, Landon?!?!?

    naruto was a show that had so much potential!!! When I first watched it, I got bored quick, but I still got addicted. The characters, the story, it was nothing like i’ve ever seen before!!!

    Before Beach, i’ve never heard of “filler anime”, but I still enjoyed it, until I watched money hungry, fan advantage taker, Faguto. Have you watched the fillers for this anime?? they suck. they drag on and on and onandon onandononandonANDONANDONANDON till finally you’re like FFFUCK I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHHHHIIIT!!
    The only real character i liked was Jiraiya, and they killed his ass off! And after that Landon… I cried. I cried tears of joy, since now I was free of that piece of shit show(I will never call it an anime again. it doesn’t deserve that honor )

    Naru-cunthole-motherfucking ass-face was a show that slowly drove itself to the ground. Killing off any awesome potential it had to disburse. The only reason I watched the show as long as I did was because I was new to anime. But after getting a good 40-50 anime series/movies/OVA’s under my belt, i realized how shitty that ‘thing’ was. I’m not like you, Landon. I didn’t start off watching anime decades ago. if I told you my actual age, it just may (just may) shock you the age difference between us!
    I know this may be somewhat of a rough draft, and you’re trying something you’ve probably been planning for a long time..
    but if you ever get the chance, try to do this list the same amount of effort you gave your top 50. I know you make take your time, but whenever you’re having a bored or angry day and—- well, what am I saying? you’re a pro, do it whenever the fuck you want to!

    Out!

    • Norman permalink
      October 18, 2012 11:31 PM

      There should be a poe’s law for nerds.

    • October 19, 2012 6:12 PM

      It would seem that whether you make a “best of” or “worst of” list, Naruto must be on it. Hehehe.

      That said, I reckon Landon likes Naruto if only for up to the first arc, before the Orochimaru big attack. That’s when it went downhill.

      Same with Bleach really. It was fine until they started the Soul Society arc. It went downhill HARD from there on. And it never really made full use of the material prior to that arc. Which I guess is the big difference between those two.

      Bleach was stylistic but kinda sorta just mediocre. Personally, I only reached around episode 20 when I dropped it.

      I read the manga for both it and Naruto well pass their shark jumping stages though.

  6. October 18, 2012 5:52 PM

    Regarding the Bones stuff, aside from the fact that FMA is nostalgic to me, I think the English dubs were a large part of why I liked them. Could not stand Eureka Seven when watching it subbed, and I don’t see myself enjoying Wolf’s Rain in Japanese either (because I’m the kind of guy who’ll like almost anything Crispin Freeman voices). Currently going through Rahxephon to see what side I’ll be on.

  7. Norman permalink
    October 18, 2012 11:28 PM

    Man you don’t know how right you are about the bake/nisemonogatari white knight complex. First of all, there are no background characters at all. If they don’t have to do with the main guy and him getting girls, they literally don’t exist. Not even his parents. Then, rather disturbingly, it’s rather implied he does it with most of the girls including his own sister, and every single girl wants in his pants (Which I guess is common fare for anime, but still). The whole thing comes off as some highschooler’s jerk off fantasy.

    I may have found it genuinely funny at times and I liked the visuals, but it left me with a bad taste for the those reasons and the ones you mentioned.

  8. October 19, 2012 6:27 PM

    Fuck you Railgun.

    I liked Index. I tried getting Landon into it. I almost sorta got him in, then Railgun happened. Now Index is lost to him forever.

    Also, Railgun sucks so fucking hard. Both the series and the character. In Index, she was an example of a Tsundere character actually working. She was one of my faves in fact. But much like how Nagato from Haruhi became this insipid little… moe thing in the sequel/alternate comic, Railgun was similarly moe-fied in the worst possible way. At least Nagato being in “Freaky Friday” mode was a novelty.

    Also, why is K-On!! not on this list? You suck Landon. You probably like, eat bags of duck and you’re a fagioli for not having K-On!! on this. Or BakaTest 2 or Mai Otome.

    Basically, all the sequels that ruined their franchise/series.

  9. Kencana permalink
    October 20, 2012 10:20 AM

    I like Fate/Zero, but I agree with some of your rant. Even I got bored when they start a very looooong talk.

  10. Destiny B. permalink
    December 8, 2012 11:35 PM

    When there are lovers to a show, haters will be close by…
    Just because there is a show you hate, it doesn’t mean others hate it too. I personally like Naruto for a various of reasons. The fillers do sometimes suck but what are you going to do about it? The show is meant to drag on and on and on and some people like that- sad but true. That doesn’t cause the show to be a complete failure.

    • Landon permalink*
      December 10, 2012 3:17 AM

      I assume you meant to reply to Ghasper, since I never mentioned Naruto in my original post.

  11. December 31, 2012 3:58 AM

    if your main criticism of DBZ is its pacing, then you should give Kai a try. it’s a lot more fast paced and doesn’t have any of the filler.

    • March 22, 2013 11:39 PM

      Yeah or try dragonball gt it is faster also……dont critisize unless u view all aspects of something

      • snugglebandit permalink
        December 8, 2013 12:45 AM

        He never did just stated the facts and the problems op had with dbz being changed in the new series. Gt had quite a bit of filler at the beginning too. Quit being so silly cody

  12. shytende permalink
    January 7, 2013 9:18 AM

    OK, first, I’m surprised that Evangelion is so unanimously liked. Don’t takes me wrong, I really love this show, but it’s made to be conflictual and discussed.

    Then… sorry, amongst the ones I saw, I don’t likes one of them enough to defend them against everything…

    Bleach. I actually felt the same way. Completely ruining Chad is bad. He seemeda more interresting character than Ichigo, and should be better logically. Then, we have the interminable fight (Aizen being the worst offender. a Boring invincible villain with god complex is boring to watch, sorry.). I continue to read it (never watched the anime…), but I have to agree.

    Then, let’s just agree that amongst all these shounen long runner, One Piece is the best.

    ROD the TV.I liked it, but I have to agree it’s really a big mess. Yomiko was a better heroine.

    Howl’s moving castle… It’s honestly the Miyazaki I liked the least. (My favourite should be Castle in the Sky). That being said, I don’t know if I like Miyazaki more by nostalgy than anything. (Technically first Anime with Pokemon).

    The Monogatari series….Everyone like it for it’s “Shaftiness” mainly, honestly. People said it was Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei with a plot, but I honestly would have liked more SZS.

    …And my god that Harem sounds awfull. I realized that I really dislike Harem, because it’s wish fulfillment that want to makes you feel guilty. That makes no sense to me The large part consacred to girls angst annoy me at best, and angry me at best. It’s insulting toward girl and romance, but also toward the audience as well.
    (that’s actually a part that Clannad did well, and even quite subtily. Clannad is the only Harem I can watch.)
    When I realized that my favorite girls in Harem are the one that doesn’t love the hero, I understood I should quit.
    I loved to see a Harem with realistic girl that have ralistic motivation, but it’s just a dream…

    In fact, there’s really few anime I would defend against everything else…

  13. Tristan permalink
    January 17, 2013 12:35 AM

    YOU FUCKING FUCK HOW COULD YOU HATE MIYAZAKI AAANNND BLEACH… haha lol nah i understand, i really loved spirited away and princess mononoke, and i enjoyed many other miyazaki films. but i can see your point with howls, it had the potential to be up there with mononoke and spirited, all the cool artwork was there, but it just couldnt make it. the fact that it was so close even though it was pretty good, makes you hate it even more out of didappointment. maybe miyazaki cant produce another mon. or spirit. i still enjoy his work. OK AND NOW BLEACH YOU FUCKTARD AAAUUUGGHH THE NERD RAGE IS TAKING OVERRRRRR….. alright i was gonna write this whole thing but instead i will just say this. watch all 366 eps and you will want to see the last arc. up to you if ya got the time. you will have to trust me on this. trust me. yeah i was letdown by bakemonogatari too. anyways, you got good taste, if i hadnt gotten addicted to anime through bleach maybe i would say i didnt like it, but theres something about watching so many episodes of something that you just learn to love it.

  14. Tristan permalink
    January 17, 2013 12:40 AM

    already posted this in another thread but just thought id say if you hate slow pacing then watch hellsing ultimate. sometimes the talking stops and there is just murder obliteration. its an ova so no need to drag.

  15. Varyn permalink
    February 26, 2013 5:38 PM

    *Sees bleach on list* Nooo don’t insult my childhood, oh well I guess it’s not for everyone
    *Sees Fate/Zero on list* Grrrrr seriously? how can you not like Fate/Zero.
    *Sees Bakemonogatari on list* THAT DOES IT I WILL FRICKIN MURDER YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Landon permalink*
      February 26, 2013 5:47 PM

      That last bit makes me all kinds of happy.

  16. August 20, 2013 6:54 PM

    I read this list and was inspired to compose my own/ Hope you don’t mind:

    http://deadlightanime.blogspot.com/2013/08/traits-i-hate.html

  17. Eric permalink
    March 2, 2014 2:20 AM

    I feel like you would have liked the monogatari franchise much more if you watched the 2nd season. I had the same problem with the white knight thing, but monogatari as pretty much proved to me that it refuses to conform to that cliche… especially in the nadeko Medusa arc and love story arc. I think araragi is the worst character in the show.. partially because he never got his own arc for his development. he’s the most stagnant character of the series yet the most prevalent as well. that was my issue with bake and nise. monogatari as fixed this by taking araragi out of the equation, and also providing an arc where araragi failed and wasn’t able to help.

    • March 2, 2014 11:16 PM

      That would require Landon to make it past the first episode which consisted of nothing but Senjougahara and Hanekawa exchanging quips with each other about how great Arararagi is wearing nothing but their underwear. Do you want him to suffer through that?

      • Eric permalink
        March 2, 2014 11:52 PM

        I can’t say I enjoyed some of the arcs/episodes, but I do think the payout was worth it. It’s a tradeoff one has to weigh for themselves, I suppose.

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