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Avengers & X-Men: Axis #1 to #3

October 25, 2014

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Avengers & X-Men? More like, Avengers & X-Still Whiny Bitches amirite?

That said, I rather like these 3 issues of Avengers & X-Men.

So to recap/spoil, after some sorta story arc or whatever, Red Skull’s became this giant dude wearing the Onslaught costume but with big fat giant tentacles coming out his back. The tentacles look ridiculous, given his size. Also, he’s pretty much like a typical Pretty Cure big boss in that he’s a giant and he’s pretty much immobile. In any case, he has telepathic powers from the time he spliced the decomposing brain matter of Professor X onto his own and he’s been sending out waves of hate throughout the world, causing everyone to have hissy fits.

The thing I like most about these issues is the terribly written dialogue. Terribly AWESOME that is. Everyone’s quipping and monologuing with each other. It’s unnatural. It’s cheesy. And it totally reminds me of some of my favorite Avengers comics, back when it was just about taking down the villain of the month.

See, I’m sure comic book readers like to have deep philosophical dialogue or failed attempts at natural speech patterns all the time, but it’s nice to have comic book style dialogue every now and again. Which Avengers & X-Men delivers. The story itself is pretty simple. They’re fighting a super powered Red Skull. End of the day, they win. It’s simple and entertaining and there are no expectations for more, but that’s why it works. Better to not try than to try and inevitably fail.

Perhaps the only real downside is that at the end of taking down the big bad Red Skull, the X-Men return to being whiny bitches, as if they’re teenagers STILL going through puberty. They’re all “You don’t understand me DAD (Steve Rogers)!”. Basically what happened at the end was that the Avengers made a reasonble assumption, which was that they should keep the Red Skull under lockdown at Avengers Tower. The X-Men object but the Avengers politely insist that given the circumstances, they should get dibs on keeping Red Skull captive and turning him over to the authorities. The X-Men continue to act like some spoiled little sister until daddy Steve Rogers shuts ’em down, which ends with the X-Men backing down with Havok throwing a hissy fit and pulling the old mutantjewblackracefeminist card as a parting shot.

At this point, the X-Men as a whole, suck balls. Ironically, the once overexposed/overrated Wolverine is the best thing left in X-Men comics, though I think he might be dead at the moment.

Putting the X-Men aside, I dig Avengers & X-Men: Axis and I’m fine with recommending it.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 26, 2014 9:58 PM

    Wait, I don’t understand why they WOULDN’T want Red Skull under lockdown? Given all that he’s done (at least as far as I know), wouldn’t that be the only reasonable course of action? This “debate” sounds as one-sided as that Civil War event. I am, of course, judging from a position of ignorance. Just basing this on what I’m given. But I’m really not that interested in reading this comic.

    Also, I read an interesting article entitled “X-Men is Not an Allegory of Racial Tolerance” on sequart.com.

    http://sequart.org/magazine/3201/x-men-is-not-an-allegory-of-racial-tolerance/

    It’s a bit long, but it’s an interesting read, so check that out whenever y’all get the time.

    • October 27, 2014 12:01 AM

      Yeah, checking out that article now.

      As for the end of Axis, the X-Men want to keep Red Skull because he MIGHT be surplanted by Prof X. They plan to wake him up but they’ll have their psychics on standby.

      The Avengers on the other hand, want to keep Red Skull and have him stay unconscious. If Prof X is there, they’ll do what they can to bring him back.

      Basically, the Avengers want to play it safe while the X-Men wanna play mad scientist. The X-Men are basically being petulant children because daddy Steve Rogers won’t let them have instant gratification on the grounds that it might result in planetary riots and genocide.

      With Civil War, it coulda been a balanced “debate”, but they decided to play one side as obviously fascist. Here, the Avengers are obviously more reasonable, if not outright “correct”.

      Again, the issues themselves are neat because of how “retro” the dialogue and general story is. It mostly takes a dip whenever the X-Men do the equivalent of that Kitty Pryde “Jew speech”.

    • Landon permalink
      October 29, 2014 6:17 PM

      The “mutant = racial minority” thing is something that works on an emotional level, but it doesn’t quite stand up when you come at it from a literary analysis perspective. It feels right for a lot of X-Men fans, but the details don’t really fall into place. So I don’t mind it if people buy into that perspective, but it doesn’t mesh with me.

      I DO think the more recent interpretation of where “mutant = homosexual” works a lot better. You’re born into a “normal” family and come puberty (or thereabouts) you discover that you’re “different.” You start to associate with people who are “different” in the same way or you try to hide it and pretend to be “normal.” You can’t help what you are, but people around you insist you can. That sort of thing.

      Bryan Singer got THAT right with his X-Men movies.

      But yeah, the Red Skull bit comes off as forced conflict. Gotta have those X-Men and Avengers going at it for inane reasons. Shudder to think a comic could go without heroes at each other’s throats.

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