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Citizen! We Need YOU To Halt The Franken-tan Menace!

May 9, 2011

Citizens! We have a new enemy waiting in the lurch. While the terrorist cells of the moe factions may be waning, and while mecha armies and other nefarious societies seem to be a thing of the past, a new threat has begun to rise from their ashes.

That threat is the Frankenstein.

It has come to our attention here at Mecha Guignol that the currently-airing series Nichijou is in fact a propaganda exercise attempting to mold the ideology of the average otaku to accept these man-made abominations. Past attempts, such as Chobits, have failed due to one key element: All of the previous Frankenstein monsters have had a modicum of competence programed into their reptilian brains.

Not is the case with Nichijou. Where Chi and her fellow persocoms were capable of brilliant feats of technology when used properly, the Nichijou’s Frankenstein is devoid of any practical human application. She is utterly incompetent, unable to perform simple tasks such as “buying groceries” without succumbing to severe malfunctions (Such as buying a snowman from the supermarket.).

But do not let these “malfunctions” fool you! Just like how the original Frankenstein’s seemingly calm nature and love of music betrayed its inner rage and wrathful impotence, so does Nano’s “moeness” shield her true intents.

Yes, Nano herself is a worthless heap of bolts and gears, and her “creator” is equally useless, but they were created to instill a sense of familiarity and tenderness towards Frankensteins in the hive mind of the otaku populace. By portraying Frankensteins and their creators as cute, innocent, adorable scamps incapable of disposing of a roach properly, much less disposing of Eastern European villages, the evil scientists backing Nichijou’s creation are creating a false need to “protect” Frankensteins in the minds of the otaku populace.

Thus, when said mad scientists unleash their god-forsaken armies upon the Japanese populace, the  NEETs and hikikomoris will storm from their parents’ attics and from their one room efficiencies and throw themselves in front of the weaponry of the JSDF in order to protect their “Fraken-tans” from the “bullies” trying to stop them from taking over the world.

Yes. Nichijou is filthy, rotten, despicable pro-Frankenstein propaganda. Beware its vile influence upon your value systems! Continue to watch the series, but do so with an ever-vigilant mind. Do so to learn the ways of your enemies, rather than to become your enemy. Learn their ways, so that when the Frankenrevolution takes place, you’ll be all the more powerful to stop their diabolical ways!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. June 4, 2011 11:10 PM

    I’m amazed nobody’s commented on this OUTRAGEOUS BLASPHEMY.

    What do you mean, worthless? DID YOU SEE THAT TOE/FINGER-ROCKET?! THEY NEED TO BE DISPOSED OF, RIGHT NOW BEFORE THEY ACT FIRST.

    It’s a moe-eat-moe world, man.

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