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Occult Academy is Based on a True Story

October 25, 2010

I saw this video linked on Coast to Coast AM’s Facebook page. It’s some dude talking about a clip from some stock footage about the premiere of one of Charlie Chaplin’s films at the Mann’s Chinese Theater. In the video, a woman walks by the camera, her hand up to her face, and talking. It totally looks like she’s holding a small cell phone and is talking into it. Or muttering to herself. Or chewing gum. Or a hell of a lot of other things. Who the hell knows. But the dude has come to the conclusion that she’s a time traveler and is talking to someone with a cell phone from the future.

Using my patented “Crazy Landon Conspiracy Theory’ techniques, I have come to the perfectly logical conclusion that this woman is indeed a time traveler and she was contacting her superiors in the future. Not unlike Bunmei contacting his superiors in the future about intel on The Nostradamus Key. Clearly this woman has traveled back in time (Or has gotten a hold of a future phone from someone, not unlike what Maya did.) and she is involved in trying to solve some time-spanning crisis that’s going down in 1920’s Hollywood.

Obviously someone involved in the production of Occult Academy has knowledge of this top-secret mission and is trying to “disclose” the details of these events by recreating them. They couldn’t tell the story blow for blow, since it would blow their cover and allow whatever secret societies and governments that are in on the ordeal to come down on them with their men in black, so they concocted this elaborate anime series taking place in 1999 so they could let the public know about the events without actually telling the full truth.

That makes Occult Academy a potent warning for future generations, telling them that dimentional rifts and witches and aliens may attack us any day now if we’re unwilling to accept the fact that the occult is very, very real and waiting to gank us when we least expect it.

Thank you, Occult Academy, and thank you hefty-looking woman from the 1920s. You are the reasons why Earth remains safe to this day.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 25, 2010 11:36 PM

    Of course, that’s all just a smokescreen. Occult Academy is just to throw the MIB off the trail.

    The REAL show giving us a glimpse of what’s to come is Shinryaku! Ika Musume! The inevitable coming squid invasion.

  2. October 26, 2010 12:54 AM

    Just like when the Matrix warned us that we may or may not be playing the shittiest MMO ever.

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