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Onore Decade!

January 27, 2010

So I told Landon I’d watch Seikon no Qwaser to determine if it really is as bad as the series description would have us think it is (Main character fights and stuff, has to drink the breast milk of virgins to unlock full power). Well is it, punk?

Honestly, I don’t know. I got about half way through ep 1, but I have to dump it now. It’s not that it’s a bad show per se. Sure, it’s pretty dull so far, despite the inclusion of a couple uber bitchy characters. But it promises to have some action later on, which may or may not be good. I’ll never know though, because I ain’t watching this show anymore. Not until someone subs the inevitable DVD release. And even then, I don’t think I’d care unless there was no other show worth watching at the time.

How do I know there’s going to be a DVD release? Because that’s the primary reason why there’s absolutely no fucking reason to watch Seikon no Qwaser.

You see, Qwaser is sort of like Princess Lover. In that it’s a show with an absurd premise that still has to take itself seriously. As a result, the draw for the viewer is the minuscule hope that the show will evolve into something actually good via surprising the viewer with a plot that’s actually good or perhaps having chemistry in the interaction between characters. Barring becoming good, bearable will do.

In the meanwhile, until the show proves to the viewer that it can be good despite its absurd premise, it keeps the viewer interested via nice artwork and gratuitous fanservice. Also, to promote the inevitable DVDs, the animators exercise some self censorship, so as to attract viewers to buy the DVDs on the promise of de-censorship. In the case of Princess Lover, it censors all the juicy parts with convenient shadows. Which was fine with me, since I’m not overly concerned about fanservice anyway.

In the case of Seikon no Qwaser however, they censor… everything. And I mean, EVERYTHING. The show opens with a semi-action scene as some chick in a mask and robe assaults a schoolgirl. But so much of that scene is censored, even the lip synch was off. I thought my old computer here was jerking or hanging on me. And it ain’t even like there was much to censor. Considering once the animation continued after a censored portion, the schoolgirl was still fully clothed. So it’s not like there were any nipple issues, and panty shots are insignificant nowadays. Possibly the masked chick kissed some other chick, I don’t know, I don’t really care at this point.

But okay, fine, maybe that opening scene was steamier than I realized? Fine, so I continued to watch the rest of the ep, where some chick fell over and we get an extended shot of the main chick. So, pantyshot censorship, fine. Then the main chick finds the main character lying on the street, she hovers over him, then we get an extended shot of the sky as the main chick screams and we hear a crack. Later on, she mentions the main character is a molester.

So, what happened there? Did the main character grope her? Tried to suckle her tits (something we wouldn’t know was a possibility unless we read the synopsis for the show beforehand)? Who knows?

Let me put this into perspective here. The premise of the show is that the main character needs to drink the breast milk of virgins. The scene where the main character tried to do so, is censored to the point where no one would have any idea what the main character tried to do. Most people would just assume a simple case of groping.

So yeah, they censored their fucking premise.

They censored, their fucking, premise.

Then we have the next scene where the masked chick shows up again. Her next victim is the main chick. And the entire opening sequence consist of a close up on the mask chick’s face. As whatever the hell was happening, was happening. What happened? I don’t know. How the hell should I know? I have no context to even guess what was happening.

At this point I gave up and decided to bitch about it here.

I understand the need to withhold content so as to make the DVD release more enticing, but withholding ALL content? That’s just asinine and touched in the head (re: retarded). For all I know, Seikon no Qwaser might be the most brilliant anime since post-episode 5 of Mai Hime. But no one would ever know because the entire visual aspect of it would focus on a) the sky (possibly with pigeons) b) a close up of a random character’s face and c) random scenery.

If you can understand Japanese, in which case, there’s probably no reason for you to read an anime blog that mostly focuses on English subs, but let’s just say, you understand Japanese. And your internet connection is slow or your computer can’t handle the video format for this show. You can seriously just ask someone to rip the audio for you and you can pretty much get the full experience just from that. Hell, you’d actually be better off, ’cause your mind will fill in the action for you.

Seikon no Qwaser is a show wherein there’s absolutely no merit in watching. If you must watch it, wait for them to sub the DVDs. The TV version has neither content nor even context to imply content.

Bonus Content: While skimming the ep for an appropriate screen cap, I decided to watch the action sequece of the ep. Guess what happens. Main character appears, creates a scythe. Mask chick creates a bunch of energy circles. We cut to a quick shot of some chick and a close up of the main chick’s face, then the main character jumps and slashes the mask chick and the fight’s over… Yeah, was an entire fight scene omitted or was the whole “Generating energy circles”-thing just pointless and out of scene continuity?

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