Nyan Koi Needs Cats Badly!
Nyankoi is about to die! Mainly because it’s shoving the cats out of the series like a fat cat shoving a kitten out-of-the-way of his food bowl.
Nyankoi’s charm, at least what’s left of it after nine episodes, is largely derived from the cats in the series. Without the cats, the series is yet another harem anime that has no way to distinguish itself from the pack. The cats and their personalities are what makes it stand out, so I find it baffling that the series seems to do everything in its power to limit the very gimmick that makes it amusing.
It’s akin to creative suicide.
In the latest episode, Kousaka helps a cat over a fence and yells at a fat cat to eat crappy food. That’s the extent of the cat-ness, roughly 4 minutes out of a 20+ minute episode. This would be fine if that time discrepancy was the exception to the rule, but it is the rule. Also, these cat moments don’t exist for their own sake. The point of Kousaka doing stuff with cats isn’t because it’s an amusing shtick, these moments exist to facilitate harem anime situation.
Helping the cat over the fence while wearing a swimsuit in the snow leads to Kousaka getting cold. This leads to former-Mamba-chick taking care of him in a very out-of-character but fanboy-pleasing manner. She dons an apron and takes pleasure in playing a “young housewife.” Oh, how the mighty have fallen. At least she still wears her snazzy purple nail polish. Then again, it’s pretty sad when the most interesting aspect of a character is their choice of nail polish color.
When Kousaka yells at pseudo-Garfield, this acts as another catalyst for an obnoxious harem moment. Going outside makes a fever kick in, leading to Kousaka passing out. Mamba helps him up to the couch, which is a decent thing to do, but then she proceeds to sexually assault Kousaka while he’s passed out. The only thing that stops her from locking lips with her knocked-out friend is a conveniently placed flashback to Kousaka telling her that he’d rather have Kaede helping him.
This brings up two things that piss me off about harem anime. First is the idea that the only way characters “cop a feel” before the finale is when they do so either A) accidentally or B) when the other character is unaware in some manner. Shudder to think that people actually have a physical relationship of any sort befor the “I choose you, Pikachu-hime” moment. Can’t there be some sort of balance between “blushing and avoiding glances” and “sexual assaults that would land you in jail if you did them in real life?”
The other thing that irks me is the fact that the female characters in these series never have “alternatives” to the main harem lead. It’s a bit like a Hold ‘Em tournament in that only one person is going to have all the chips at the end of the day. Only one girl can win over the lead, and the other women are left wondering what could have been. There’s no romantic competition. The girls don’t have any choice. The choice comes down to “the main characters is god and decides which chick is the chosen one.”
All of this makes the harem moments of Nyankoi downright pathetic, but all would be forgiven (mostly) if there were more cat moments.
I want more creepy stalker cats that con Kousaka into giving them Rocky-esque training montages. I want more cats that get into domestic disputes you’d see on COPS if humans were doing the very same thing. I want more effeminate male calico cats in love triangles with a snotty black cat and a fat cat who acts like Rosanne Barr. This is the shit that makes Nyankoi cool, not this “I know he likes me and he knows I like him but neither one of us can say anything because it isn’t the last episode oh what’s a person to do but pose for the fanboys in various fetish costumes?”
I’m starting to think Nyankoi hates cats. We should call PETA on its ass.