If you don’t click on the “Read the rest of this story” link, there’s a fifty-fifty chance that there will be a good post. You’ll create a multiverse where a good post does indeed exist beyond that link. Do you want to take the risk of their being a crappy post, or do you want that possibility to continue existing?
Wow. Way to go dude. You just went and destroyed an alternate universe by clicking that link. Zillions of voices cried out in pain and were hushed in an instant. You should be proud.
By the way, there’s a new subbed episode of Zetsubou Sensei floating around this particular universe’s internet. Be sure not to go destroying our universe before you get around to watching it. That would suck.
Except that’s exactly what Kafuka would want you to do. She wants you to sow that seed of chaos and disharmony. She wants you to be responsible for the deaths of trillions of most-likely-imaginary lives, and she wants you to live with that delusional guilt.
But she doesn’t do this out of any sort of malice or hatred. She doesn’t feel anger towards you or God or the world as a whole. She’s an agent of chaos, and she enjoys seeing the world burn. But less like The Joker and more like Eris, the greek goddess of Discord as depicted by Discordianism.
I’ll assume you know the myth behind the beginning of the Trojan War. That golden apple bearing the word “kallisti,” “to the fairest,” was thrown by Eris. Said myth claims that Eris tossed the apple out of petty jealousy, but the Discordian “religion” says she did it because of two little words: Why Not? Eris simply wanted to see what would happen. And what happened was the Iliad, Odyssey, Aeneid, and that video game Gods of War.
Kafuka operates in a similar manner. Almost every ethical, philosophical, and metaphorical discourse that occurs in Zetsubou Sensei is the result of Kafuka’s meddling. More often than not it’s an off-hand comment that she makes about some inconsequential subject that sparks the topic at hand. In the latest subbed episode, she sparks the Schrödinger’s discussion by making a cynical comment about Bald-Boy’s chances of getting Valentine’s chocolate in his locker. Anyone that knows this dude knows full well there’s not a chance in hell of him getting chocolate from a girl, but Kafuka throws the proverbial apple and creates false hope. That lie spreads like a virus, infecting the thought processes of the rest of her classmates.
Kafuka is Chaos Theory incarnate. She’s the reincarnation of Eris. She is discord, and she’s fully aware of the fact.
But even in a psudo-religion like Discordianism, and even in a pseudo-satire like Zetsubou Sensei, there has to be an opposing force. Yin and Yang. Hodge and Podge. Laverne and Shirley. In Discordianism, that force is called Aneris. Kind of like how the opposite of the Iliad is the Aeneid, except the Aeneid is more like the opposite of the Odyssey, so that comparison doesn’t really work.
Regardless, Kafuka’s aneris is Chiri.
Chiri demands that everything be orderly, predictable, and thoroughly mundane. While her standards and methods may seem extreme, she needs to be as such in order to act as “>Kafuka’s polar opposite. Much like how Kafuka is the second coming of Eris, Chiri is the descendant of Greyface, the man who brought about the “curse” of order to humanity according to Discordian “mythology.”
This dichotomy is best illustrated by Chiri’s need to “bury” things. While Kafuka wishes to unleash ideas, like some sort of Pandora’s box, Chiri fights with all of her might to silence, kill,and bury anything that strays from her narrow vision of reality. Everything is a number to her, and if her calculations don’t add up, she kills the math problem without hesitation.
More than any other character, Chiri rails against the discussions spawned by Kafuka’s chaos. Even Zetsubou himself is more willing a partner than Chiri. She’s the only real dissenting voice in the series. She represents everything that Kafuka is not, and the fact that she is the only one to truly struggle against the chaos is proof that Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei is, at its heart, a Discordian satire on modern life.
Despite all the jabs at pop culture and politics and the like, Zetsubou Sensei isn’t trying to satirize things in order to promote an alternative way of thinking. This isn’t South Park, where they mock things in the name of Libertarianism, or The Daily Show, where they mock things in the name of the Democratic party. Zetsubou Sensei is mocking the very fact that there are party lines and ideologies that people follow. The series is basking in the absurdity that is like, much like the Discordian Society.
It’s cutting through the bullshit to show us that everything is bullshit. Including this blog post.
In other words: If you see Zetsubou Sensei on the street, kill him.
In other other words: Weather Three has competition for “best anime scene of the year.” Watching that mock opening credits scene made me feel like I was in some amalgam of an a-ha video and Cutey Honey. Good stuff that.
In other other other words: You can find the Principia Discordia here.