The Moofia Does Not Exist – Part Two
(Another review initially posted at Turquoise Version. Check that joint out already.)
Bulletto is the Clint Eastwood of the Moofia. As you can see, he likes to squint. He also likes big guns. He’s lacking in chimpanzee sidekicks, but he makes up for that with two sentient shotgun shells at his side. I’m sure Clyde would approve.
According to Bulletto’s story-on-the-box, he’s a former bully that was converted by the sword by Mozzarella. Apparently she doesn’t gun down ALL of the bullies she comes across, just the ones that aren’t as cute as Bulletto. Now that he’s Mozzarella’s comrade in arms and all around boy toy, he’s joined her in her quest to obliterate all nasty milk money marauders from the face of the earth. A quaint romantic drama if I ever heard of one.
Much of what I had to say about Mozzarella’s overall design applies to Bulletto as well. He wears a costume similar to his girlfriend’s, with the main difference being the paint scheme. While Mozzarella had a white-with-brown-splotches look, Bulletto’s is strictly brown. The only exception to this uniformity being the two red eyes adoring the top part of his hoodie, which give him a bit of a menacing bull-like look. Those eyes wouldn’t have “worked” for Mozzarella’s look, but they match Bulletto’s perfectly. Even if he isn’t looking at you, those red, piercing eyes on his head would still stare you down. He can dual-intimidate, all the better for bully-bashing.
As for his face, he’s differentiated by his squinting eyes and adorable scowl. He looks like he can cause some real damage, but he also looks a little insecure. Maybe he isn’t much for this cosplaying crime-busting stuff. Sure, he likes fighting baddies and all, but why the costume? Why the cow theme? Can’t we just wear combat fatigues or black leather or Abercrombie tees? That’s what that look is telling me, “I can kick your ass, but my manliness is compromised by my fetish-loving girlfriend.” Don’t worry, Bulletto, we think you rock regardless of your “hobbies.”
In addition to his face, he’s also sporting a little messy hair sprouting out from under his hood. It isn’t nearly as “neat” as Mozzarella’s, but that suits him just fine. It’s like he threw the costume on in a hurry, rushing to get to the scene of the crime after the Moo-Signal was flashed into the sky. Who cares if you have bedhair when there are people to blast? All in all, Bulletto’s “look” is just as appropriate as Mozzarella’s, and despite their similarities there’s enough to make them distinct from one another.
Bulletto’s “accessories” run the same gamut as Mozzarella’s. He’s sporting a pair of horns as well, but his are far more “authentic” than hers. They indeed look like bull’s horns, which makes him look considerably less mischievous and more murderous. Very appropriate. He also has the same hoop earring that spin in their sockets, and accompanying them is what looks like an animal tag pierced to his left ear. Despite his “conversion,” I bet Mozzarella doesn’t quite trust her new beau yet, and to ensure that he won’t run off and revert to bullydom she’s made sure that she can track his every move. Way to be possessive there, Mozzy. Or it could be an extra piercing and Bulletto’s just into that sort of thing. I doubt it.
Instead of a tommy gun, Bulletto’s totes a shotgun. What I like about his gun is that there’s a bit of color to it. Sure, it’s just gray AND brown, but having the stock colored appropriately does a lot as far as adding to his look. Also, his gun was a bit easier to get into his arms, so that’s one plus he has against his girlfriend. He’s far more willing to wield his piece. Must be those years of being a lunch terrorist.
The final touch that makes Bulletto different from his cohort is his cape. This matches his whole “bull” look perfectly, since it goes with the whole bullfighting motif. Maybe he fought an evil bullfighter bully at some point in the past and stole his trademark cape away as a memento of his victory. Maybe that vile villain will return one day to retrieve his prized possession. That will be epic.
Bulletto also has his own ammo-based comrades, this time in the form of two shotgun shells. One is a rather chipper dude, while the other sports an even nastier look than Bulletto’s. I like them, but they don’t quite have the same charm as Mozzarella’s bullet. I think it’s the fact that they look a little too much like real shotgun shells. Had they been a bit more stylized in their angles, much like the bullet, they would have been a good deal cuter. Still, they look good, and their faces are very expressive.
All in all, Bulletto’s an improvement upon Mozzarella’s design. He takes the basic concept, kid-in-cow-suit-with-gun, and takes it to the next logical step. He goes for the same price as his cohort, comes with a few extra goodies, and is a relatively recent release, so you have a good shot at finding him online. If you dig these guys but only feel like getting one, I’d go with Bulletto. He’s got the beef.
The Goods: Improves upon Mozzarella design, multi-color shotgun, looks like Dirty Harry cosplaying.
The UnGoods: Shotgun shells look too much like the real thing.
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5
The New American Gothic